Tia's Web Log ~ Earth Year 2012

Been awhile, eh?

I’m doing ok, better than ever actually. Saturday my chiro. appt. went painful but very well, there was a moment of such extreme pain my reaction embarrassed me, well, something must have happened because come Monday after a few weeks of unbearable pain, more than ever I would have to say, I woke up nearly pain free. This would be my 3rd time in a year. Well this has been all week now with very little discomfort. My appt.’s are now once a week instead of twice and next is tomorrow so I am pretty interested to see how it goes.

It has been 24/7 pain and discomfort for 2 years and nearly pain free since Monday – So Awesome! :)

Still a little lost how I want to arrange my domain here on the interwebz. I am on a mission of inner peace and happi and with that, do not want to be too dramatic, dark or negative. At the same time, though, things ARE dark and negative. So I feel like people will see me in a way I don’t want.

What if I’m ok with people getting sexually aroused when I write about my childhood sexual experiences? Because I am, you know. Maybe I want to encourage people to embrace their sexuality and to also embrace us grownup-fuckups. Stay away from the real little girls. PROTECT THEM! Let them grow up and turn you on with their sexy taboo pillow talk.

I’m also ok if you feel that is wrong. I don’t think what has happened to me is “right” or “ok” and I don’t encourage or condone such behavior. I am simply sharing myself with everyone if they wish to take a bite, they can choose their favorite cut.

On a slightly related note, I’ve now run into 2 females who seem exactly like me in many ways that most people couldn’t imagine and I’ve found that my feelings about them, or at least how they present themselves, are all negative and I don’t think I’d like them in person. I wonder why that is. Maybe I am upset that I am not all that unique afterall? One part that bothers me is the way I’m finding these women is through following men who have perved on me in the more serious ways, like inviting me to live with them without even knowing me. That happens to me OFTEN. So often that I always know I have a place to go if ever I needed one. Good thing I am way too independant for that shit *smiles*.

But it worries me when I see the girls they are obviously offering the same things to. These men are not capable of taking proper care of them but most of them are not as experienced (and smart) as me so will likely not stop themselves in time.

Well. Maybe it is just a part of their life path just like all my experiences. How can they learn? Well. I am here in the shadows to keep an eye on things.

My entire life has existed within the sexual shadows of society. Most people cannot imagine what that is like. With this open nature I have and the fact I have met hundreds *(edited out “have had sex with hundreds”, see comments.)* of people and some of them are still frenz…I keep them mostly all separate and speshul in their own ways and this makes me sort of a central station that a lot of people don’t even know exist but pass through regularily. Within this station I can see what is really going on. So, someday in the near or distant future I come across some bullshit from one side or the other – I will pop up and say – “HEY – I don’t think so.” Or “HEY, you don’t know me but I agree”. I get a lot of shit for this behavior.

I’m watching you, though. I tell everyone that and they still flash their colors in front of me. There must be a reason for this?

Well I am evolving sexually.

Previously, I would say thought policing is bad and would never not accept someone if, say, they had a fetish for prepubescent girls.

In this very post I’ve stated I am ok with you getting your rocks off thinking of a 4yo me lying in the garden, in the sun, while the neighbors dog goes down on me. How sick is that? Well – it got ME off. And I’m going to say that I do NOT accept YOU if this is your fantasy, anymore.

But you are welcome to follow me around.

In my real life offline meeting group, you are not accepted if you have sexual fantasies about pre pubescent girls. I am of the same bleed=breed mindset that expands to horny little girls that just won’t take no for an answer. Most of these sexual happenings are actually NOT all that bad. The little girl always has a rape tag in her back pocket to use if these idiots cross them, so let them play with fire if they need to.

I am ok with incest too. But NOT with parent/child. With that sed, my favorite sexual fantasy is Daddy/little girl relationships and I call Platypus “Daddy” too. He calls me “Little Girl”.

This blog was started in order for me to talk about these very things and has just evolved to something a little more.

My first Daddy/girl relationship was around 3 years in a poly situation with a married man. I will be calling him “A.C” here and his wife “C.C” and he turned out to be a really extreme case so lucky me, right?! He lied about so many things in such a perfect and dazzling sociopathic dance but hindsight is 20/20, isn’t it? I had to experience and see with my own 2 eyes that he was a bad man, when he tried to include me in his sexual relationship with his (then) 14yo daughter who he had been sexual with for a year duration already…and I knew it. C.C knew it too. Many did but no one did or sed anything!

I was the loud one. He was faced with a very angry, scared and devastated girl that night and it has been a silent war ever since. This was summer of 2009.

As I’ve stated before, most of my blogs will be private due to the sensitive nature of this case and that I have started legal proceedings against him. If you are going through the same sort of thing yourself, please become a member here and let me know you are around so we can support eachother.

I am attracted to true evil. Still and welcome it, play with it even envelop myself in it at times…just keep your real experiences between consenting adults, please?

Other notes – I am fat.

I am 156 this morning and really upset about that since I was 149 a few weeks ago. Myself is out of control a bit here. Maybe it is winter.

<3